So the TEFL scheme has been put on hold for a few extra months. As January got nearer and nearer, I started getting more and more nervous, and kept hesitating to put my deposit down, until finally I stopped and said, “Hang on. Maybe this isn’t the right thing for me right now.”
So I’m staying here for another year.
It should be good. I’m moving in with some good friends from college and we’re going to watch Doctor Who and make Harry Potter crafts all day long all the time.
I suppose there’s no point in not saying it, and maybe saying it is the whole point I’m writing this blog post. But I’m struggling right now.
I have no idea what direction to take, or how to make my dreams happen effectively, or even what they really are.
And I think that’s normal for someone my age. But I don’t like the uncertainty and I don’t like the feeling of not knowing myself. I tend to spiral out of control and question everything under the sun about who I am. And that’s never fun.
But every day I just need to remind myself that everything’s already alright. And that it’s just one day at a time. And then another. And another. And I’ll slowly explore and reach out and feel out the path in front of me in the dark until I’ve got a vague idea of it, and then, when I’m ready, I’ll take that step forward.
And I look forward to it.