There are times in anyone’s life when things change. And you can see that change coming like a train in the distance, unmercifully chugging along. I’m the girl tied to the tracks.
That’s an unfair exaggeration. But I face the prospect of graduating university in May, for which I am all kinds of emotions, and although the current way-below-freezing temperatures try to convince me otherwise, I am agonizingly aware that May is not that far away.
To be honest, I’m extremely excited about life after graduation. I have more secure plans than most of my peers, and I’ll actually be doing what I love and utilizing my seemingly useless major (Creative Writing). But it’s a massive change staring me straight in the face. I mean, COLOSSAL. Especially in a culture in which we spend our entire childhood, adolescence, and into our twenties in school, finally leaving is a huge change.
Whether the change is for the better or worse, whether I’m excited or terrified, I always respond the same way at a certain point: ultimate stress mode. This is the mode in which I question everything, including my major, my social life, that time five years ago when I drank too much, my past, my future, my present, the list goes on and on and on and on….
But there are some things I will never be able to question. Baking soda in flour and sugar and milk and egg makes muffins. Egg whites with sugar can be coaxed into frothy sticky goodness. A pie is a pie is a pie. Bread dough won’t punch back. Cookies make people smile.
These are the rules of the universe in which I live. This is the chemistry that lets me find comfort in a good steel mixing bowl. Not just comfort but peace of mind, sense of purpose, and calm. Whether or not I know what will happen in four months, I know exactly what will happen in twenty-two minutes, and it will be warm and delicious and perfect with a cup of tea.